My idea for this were the words that we use to affirm how great something was. Trust me, I’m not one to pick on someone for hyperbolizing, I’m merely saying the the method in which we do it may need to be “tuned up” a bit. Most of these terms when used correctly and incorrectly for that matter leave one open to insults and general verbal abuse. So put away your exclamation marks and without further adieu here is my top 5 hyperboles that have to go.
5. CLUTCH - (adj) Great, Essential, and Potent rolled into a single word. Clutch is also used to describe something that is done, not something that is.
“The way you told that mall security guard off, that was so clutch!”
Replacement? I’d consider the following:
The way you told that mall security guard he was a rent-a-cop, that was so anti-authoritarian.
In my example, I distinguish myself as someone that may know what they are talking about; even if I didn’t have a clue. But at least I am not using a lame overstatement.
4. ACE – (adj) British for cool, meaning more for cool, in other words amazing, said at most sleepaway camps, to describe activities and campers. Similar to clutch in its use, it is essentially an overstatement which needs to be replaced.
“That new car is ace!”
Replacement? I’d consider the following:
The streamlined design of that new car is rad-tastic!
In my example, I distinguish myself as someone who knows what a portmanteau is, or the a new word formed by joining two others and combining their meanings; “`smog’ is a blend of `smoke’ and `fog’; Use it wisely, and make sure you sound original.
3. WICKED – (adj) New England slang that adds emphasis. Synonymous with really, very and hella. Being a New Englander all my life, I’ve heard this statement far too many times, and I even hope to eliminate it from my own vernacular all together.
“That wicked cool car is wicked fast is owned by that wicked old guy, who drives it wicked slow when it’s wicked hot out, which makes me wicked sad cause I’m wicked broke and I got to walk a wicked long way.”
Replacement? I’d consider the following:
What a waste of a sports car, that geriatric fellow drives awfully slowly and doesn’t take full advantage of his car’s ponies.
In my example, I distinguish myself as a non-regional enunciator, and I refuse to use words that are from my iconic region of the world.
2. BODACIOUS – Predominately used during the 80’s and early 90’s, bodacious is a combination of the words bold and audacious. To be bodacious is to be: impressive, awesome, brave in action, remarkable, prodigious.
”Ted, you and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened.”
Replacement? I’d consider the following:
“Ted, we have been through many things, but nothing quite remarkable as that.”
In my example, I distinguish myself from a Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure pundit.
1. EXTREME! - Outermost or farthest. The greatest or highest; most. Far beyond what is considered normal. Drastic.
“Honestly, why would you want regular, plain ol’ boring yogurt when you could get… EXTREME YOGURT!!! A blast of nondescript flavorings and bacteria IN YOUR MOUTH!!!”
Replacement? I’d consider the following:
“Honestly, why would you want to use the word extreme at all to describe something as regular as yogurt. Go to jail.”
In my example, I distinguish myself from lame advertisements offer drastic ploys to sell boring products.